Peer Review Comment:
I think overall, your paper was very organized. I felt that your transitions between each topic and between each paragraph really work well with the essay and it makes your essay an easier to follow for the reader. I also feel like your analysis for your points was very well thought out and was descriptive. At some points, I feel like it might be a good idea to expand on some points, but overall, your points are very thorough. One thing I think you could do to make your essay stronger would be to take the part of your essay about Pinker out, and make it it’s own paragraph. I think the spot it is in now is okay, but the two topics covered in that paragraph do not exactly relate to each other. Therefore, I think it would make more sense to split the paragraphs up. Lastly, I think your conclusion is a bit repetitive and similar to the introduction. It might make more sense to the reader if you were to make the two paragraphs different.
I think your essay is very well done! I noticed you take your time to word sentences together because they work very well with the essay. I think you did very well in picking sentences that are clear and to the point, which helps the reader read the essay much more smoothly. I really like the part in your essay when you included how scientists may form a hypothesis but if it is not understood by others, it will be rejected. I thought that this really made me, the reader, think and realize how important clarity and communication is in the everyday life and also in a field of highly intelligent people. I think it would benefit your essay to work on your introduction a bit more. I like the historical background you gave in the beginning, but I was thinking it would make your essay more eye catching if you added a topic sentence that catches the reader’s attention. Also, I think I would just be careful with using vague words like, it or that. I feel like using descriptive words will make your paper more formal.
